PissWeakly Reviews: Apple Air tablet computer

rated zero/10: so bad that it makes me angry.

For several months I owned -- and attempted to use -- the latest (2022?) model Apple tablet. The name had "Air" in it.

This review is from memory. I bought it brand new. The device never worked properly. Now it is dead.

Have you ever dreamed of owning a computer which will support your work? Which will make your work -- and play -- so much more effective.

Apple says, forget it.

The Apple concept is that you will change your every way of working. And playing. Change to suit the apple way.

Not that they tell you the way, that would be too helpful. They have their own language. Describing "features" with standard English words. But no hint as to what the feature *does*.Which makes it very difficult to search the Web for help.

Interesting: a quick search shows that "my" word crapple is, in fact, already in common use.

A tablet computer is very convenient for travel. For me it has two key uses: type emails and read eBooks.

My new crapple arrives. I'm excited. I'm going away for the next weekend, I can use the device to carry books with me and to email home. Wrong.

I have some ePubs that I want to read. I copy them to the tablet. It's not easy but I manage. And test-read on the tablet.

Standard ePub files. I have read them on PC and Android. Crapple refuses to open them.

Still, it accepts a few. Enough for a weekend's reading. Wrong.

Every indication is that the epubs are on the tablet. In fact they have been dumped to the cloud. Our weekend is out of town -- with no internet. So, no reading epubs. Total fail.

Still, I can always type emails. Then send them when I get back to the city. This introduces the next major fault The fault appeared on day one, I spent months just putting up with it:

Back in the city, several months later... I receive an email, it needs a rapid response. I start typing the response -- the apple stops, locks, restarts.

This is common. For no obvious reason -- the device crashes.

The crash takes perhaps 30 seconds to recover. Enough time to lose my train of thought. Sometimes nothing else is lost, sometimes it loses what was being typed.

I've owned the crapple for at least six months. Restricted my way of working in an attempt to work within apple restrictions.

I've had enough. I'm trying to respond to an email, the device crashes. I restart, try again to reply to the email, the device crashes.

There's an open door. I throw the crapple out that door.

When I can be bothered picking it up -- it never works again. I am glad. The crapple is dead. I'm still angry but I can use other devices -- non-apple devices -- devices that actually work.

===

The Apple Air tablet does not work. What it does -- is annoying.

The touch-screen extends all the way to the edge of the device. What this means is that it cannot be picked up. Try to pick it up -- or even to move it -- and you will touch the screen. Touch it anywhere and... something will happen. Something random. Not really random but, you want to move the device, you don't notice where you touch the screen. Wherever it is, something happens. Something which you did not intend.

The device is designed for use with 24/7 high speed internet.

I wanted to show photos to a friend. Put the photos on the tablet, share them over a coffee. Wrong.

There is no way to copy files onto the crapple. Not from a PC. Not via USB. Only through the cloud. If you want to spend hours transferring to and from. If you want to meet your friend in a cafe which provides high speed internet.

Another fail.

Oh yes, that "Air": Are there really people who roam the world (or the home or office) who want to share files with other apple owners? These would be people who have never heard of email attachments. Or who, like me, do not have 24/7 access to cloud sharing. Really?

The ability to share files on the fly is, apparently, a key feature of the tablet. I never felt the need to try it.

Apple Air tablet: A useless piece of junk. I was glad when it finally, completely, died.