Chronic City / Jonathan Lethem

Chronic City
by Jonathan Lethem

published 2010, read in October 2012

category: general fiction

rating 3 / 10: so bad it's embarrassing

Let's be clear: the rating of 3 out of 10 is *my* rating. There may be readers who enjoy reading this sort of drivel. Or perhaps something interesting does happen if you can bear to read past page 85.

Not that I expected much. In Barcelona for a week, wanting a book to fill some idle moments. The nearest bookshop had a few metres of English-language books, a highly eclectic mix indeed.

I chose the one book which was written recently, vaguely SF and I had not read before. Perhaps I should have selected from the very small range of "classics".

In its general theme, this book reminds me of The Great Gatsby: a story of the rich and the beautiful, as seen by a jealous outsider. Where Fitzgerald hated the rich because he did not belong, Lethem longs to join them. Or so it would seem, from the styles of the books.

Lethem, though, takes his readers to new levels of self-indulgent boredom.

By page 85 -- which is as far as my good sense would allow me to go -- nothing has happened. The first-person storyteller has met a man with a sharp mind and poor dress sense. The two have smoked dope, eaten the same meal at the same restaurant several times, and dropped numerous references to characters and actors from TV and movies.

Are these characters and actors real? Are they invented? Are they "clever" inventions based on real people? Who knows?! Who cares.

The novel appears to be named for a favourite brand of marijuana. Perhaps it is the same brand that the author uses when writing. Because that's the way that the book reads...

Remember the stereotype Hollywood hippies? That friend of Dobie Gillis, for example... the hippies who ramble on, speaking a language of their own, making very little sense to the rest of the world. To their own drug-addled senses they are providing deep insights into the mysteries of the world. To the rest of us, they are mumbling nonsense.

Chronic City is mumbling nonsense.

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Problems ? Solved

Maxwell & Williams "Microstoven"

Non-stick pot: Microstoven

by Maxwell & Williams

category: gadget, author:

Agamedes

bought in 2010, lasted till 2011

Agamedes' opinion: 3 out of 10: So bad it's embarrassing

About eighteen months ago we were given a present, a Maxwell & Williams non-stick cook-pot.

A beautiful pot with a clever name: Microstoven... Microstoven... get it? MICROwave + STOVE + OVEN... Clever, eh?

Here's the label from the bottom of the pot:

The pot feels great. Light and smooth. A pleasure to work with. And non-stick, the label says so.

There is more information on that label. A series of icons:

Tangled Webs / Anne Bishop

Tangled Webs

category: horror, author:

Anne Bishop

book 6 of Black Jewels
original copyright 2008,
read in May 2011

Agamedes' opinion: 3 out of 10

This book is so bad that it's embarrassing.

Busted Flush / George R.R. Martin

Busted Flush

category: fantasy, author:

not really George R.R. Martin

book 19 of Wild Cards
original copyright 2008,
read in May 2011

Agamedes' opinion: 3 out of 10

Apparently, this is a "mosaic novel". That may mean, "Don't blame me, I only wrote some of it." Or possibly, "Be nice to me and I'll publish some of your work in 'my' next 'novel'."

It's "mosaic" because there are nine separate authors. Each author writes a series of related chapters. The series of related chapters are then interspersed to form a book. Perhaps, by the end of the book, the separate series of chapters somehow link together. Or perhaps not.

btw: None of the authors are George R.R. Martin.

A novel is a book of long narrative in literary prose. As far as I read, Busted Flush is a series of short stories. Perhaps they do -- eventually -- join up to form "a long narrative". Perhaps not. As far as I read it was a series of short stories and not a novel.

As a book, this is a comic.

Invisible Zinc SunScreen

category: other product, author:

Agamedes

Agamedes' opinion: 3 out of 10

We were heading off on holiday and needed a small tube of sunscreen. Small, because we were only away for two weeks. Small, because we were going to New Zealand, land of the long white cloud. Small, because we didn't want to carry too much.

We bought the smallest container of sunscreen that we could find, in our local supermarket. We bought a 75g tube of Invisible Zinc.

Our first surprise was the price: $19.95 for 75 grams.

To put that in context, our next sunscreen purchase was Cancer Society sunscreen at $10.35 for 110 ml. Different measurement units but the Cancer Society tube is larger and costs about half as much.

Why does Invisible Zinc cost so much? Is it the effectiveness of its sun-screening? Or is it the cost of using a bronze goddess supermodel in the advertising campaign...

Our second surprise was that -- despite the name -- Invisible Zinc is not invisible! Rub it in as much as you like, you will still have a ghostly but obvious white smear on your skin. Read the very fine print on the tube and yes, it says, "Product may leave a white cast on certain skin types." That's the small print. The LARGE print says, INVISIBLE ZINC. Yes, INVISIBLE.

This is marketing versus honesty.

Then we went to New Zealand and used the product, nearly every day.

I have patches of skin which have no pigment. I call it my Michael Jackson Syndrome: the skin is turning white, starting with my hands. A side effect of having no pigment is that that skin burns easily in the sun.

Under our Australian sun I use standard sunscreen on my hands and have no trouble: the skin stays white. Under the New Zealand sun, using Invisible Zinc sunscreen -- my hands turned pink. Not enough to call it "sunburn". But enough to know that Invisible Zinc was not protecting my skin from the sun.

So that's the third surprise: The "SPF 30+" Invisible Zinc Sunscreen provides less protection to the skin than our usual, cheaper brands. Given the relative strength of the sun in Australia and New Zealand, I wonder if Invisible Zinc is, in fact, anywhere near the claimed SPF 30+.

So we bought a sunscreen which is very expensive, misleadingly named and does not do what a sunscreen is expected to do.

Ten out of ten for marketing hype. Three out of ten as a consumer product. Three, because it may have been better than no sunscreen at all.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

Larkin about in Ireland / John Larkin

Larkin about in Ireland

(category: travel)
by

John Larkin

published by Hodder Headline Australia in 2002
Nick read a 2nd hand book, in April 2009

Nick's rating: 3 out of 10

Nick's opinion:

The author appears to hate Australia. He also seems hates his family. By the time I had struggled through half the book -- and he had barely reached Ireland -- I was sick of his insults and negative views of, well, everything. This is definitely not a travel guide to Ireland. It's just nasty rubbish.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your own documents, email nick leth at gmail dot com.

On / Adam Roberts

On

(category: science fiction)
by

Adam Roberts

published by Gollancz in 2001
Nick read a library book, in January 2010

Nick's rating: 3 out of 10

Nick's opinion:

This book reinforced my understanding of "hero" vs "protagonist"... The main character is definitely a protagonist. He grows up in a small village, where he is regularly beaten by his mother. He leaves the village by accident, then life just gets worse and worse.The book demonstrates a series of "civilisations" -- each worse than the other. Things just happen to the protagonist: mostly bad things. Friends and acquaintances all get killed, in increasingly bizarre ways. The physics of the world is finally revealed -- hastily, near the end. The boy finally decides to do something -- pointless and futile. Then he falls back into his preordained fate -- which is never really explained. One reviewer writes, "leaves a taste in your mouth." Sure... a taste like vomit. The author claims it is a story of "precariousness". More like "pointless misery". Written after a difficult period of his life, says the author. An exercise set by his psychiatric therapist, perhaps. Depressing. Pointless.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your own documents, email nick leth at gmail dot com.

Star Trek Nemesis / J.M. Dillard

Star Trek Nemesis

(category: FanSci(*))
a book in the Star Trek franchise by

J.M. Dillard

published by Simon & Schuster in 2002, read in November 2009

Agamedes' opinion: 3 out of 10

Another book of a movie. Another collection of special effects and meaningful looks, converted to embarrassing prose. Not quite as bad -- not as horribly childish -- as the Star Wars "clones" book. Just a book for fans of the movie. The Enterprise is so large that it has full Earth-normal gravity (to allow a baddie to fall to his death). Good grief! Captain Picard steals an alien spaceship and can barely fit in. But... aren't the aliens a lot taller than humans?! (I would check my memory on that. But it's not worth the effort of re-reading.) Then there's the terrible z-rays (or whatever). They are thought to not exist -- yet can be detected -- even when the z-ray machine is switched off! I've invented a new type for these books: (*)FanSci, for pure Fantasy with a pretence of Science in the background. Each Star Trek TV episode was based on an SF idea, explored then settled, often by Captain Kirk's fists. This Star Trek movie is a ridiculous premise, with a focus on personal interactions, then settled by each major good guy having a fist or phaser fight with a matching baddie. The only thing in common, between TV and film, is the short life expectancy of the unnamed ensigns.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your own processes, problems or documents, email nick leth at gmail dot com.

Shout for the Dead / James Barclay

Shout for the Dead

(category: fantasy)
book 2 of The Acendants of Estorea by

James Barclay

published by Gollancz in 2006, read in October 2009

Agamedes' rating: 3 out of 10

Agamedes' opinion:

What a nasty book. Full of self-righteous and often stupid characters with the moral standards of the mafia. The "heroes" have magical super-powers. One of them believes that the powers should only be used for good; he finally decides to go with the flow and add his destructive powers to the war effort. The "Conquord" -- ha ha -- is a military dictatorship lead by a hereditary dictator-for-life. The dictator refuses to listen to her closest advisors telling her that there is trouble -- then changes her mind on the basis of a letter from her son saying, I have no evidence but I feel bad about this so just trust me eh mum... Rather than trying to convince the other power-brokers, mum just shouts orders, then throws a hissy-fit when there is disagreement. Everyone -- including the church army -- uses flaming arrows, pitch and naphtha in battle, yet the church starts a holy war when the army want to burn zombies. Army tacticians are idiots, political leaders are childish, plot logic is out the window, violence is over the top and ethics are based on the idea that the existing dictatorship is worth defending. It leaves the literary equivalent of a bad taste in the mouth.

..o0o..

This blog is supported by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your own documents, email nick leth at gmail dot com.

The Female Man / Joanna Russ

The Female Man

by

Joanna Russ

published by Beacon Press in 1975
read by Agamedes in July 2009
science fiction

This book begins as a fem lib statement, with a few characters -- all female -- representing various good and bad stereotypes. The book then evolves into a rant against men. Many of the points are valid; they make you think. The men-suppressing-women attitudes are familiar; I accepted -- or lived with -- many of them at about the time the book was written. In common with many one-sided sermons of suffering, the author sees only the persecution of self. If the characters were male and black, or meat eaters in a vegetarian society, or perhaps Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka, it would make as much sense. This aside, the sentiments are worthy. The characters are cardboard and creepy, what I believe is intended to be Utopia sounds -- to me -- like authoritarian Dystopia, it’s difficult to know who is supposed to be “the author”. Then there is no discernible plot. I stopped reading, half way through.

Agamedes' rating: 3 out of 10

Buy it if you must -- buy it from my link and I get a commission. But don't pretend that I recommended it.

Reunion / Alan Dean Foster

Reunion

by

Alan Dean Foster

published by Del Rey in 2001
read by Agamedes in June 2009
science fiction
book 7 of Pip & Flinx

First, it’s hard to read because the author has swallowed a dictionary and is coughing up long words and pretentious phrases. Then there’s the space given over to predicting how badly this could turn out, or how the hero could do this thing... but he won’t. Pip & Flinx began -- I think -- as the adventures of a young lad with exceptional mind powers. Sure, the powers fail unexpectedly – unexpectedly except that you can expect them to fail whenever they are really required. As the series progresses there is more and more of Flinx discovering where he came from. This book, Reunion, is almost entirely that voyage of discovery: there is no other plot worth mentioning. And, since he discovers very little at all, the book offers very little of interest. A chapter in the life of Flinx, perhaps. As a book in its own right, a waste of printed paper.

Agamedes' rating: 3 out of 10

The Drowned World / J.G. Ballard

The Drowned World

by

J.G. Ballard

published by Harper Perennial in 1962
read by Agamedes in April 2009
science fiction

Two main themes. (1) A badly dated view of civilisation crumbling under stress. The villain is white (very white) and holds the girl hostage in the hope that she will fall for him. His henchmen are black and do a lot of black sambo dancing. (2) A hard to believe view that Earth heating up will cause people’s minds to revert to something-zoic non-thinking, causing them to travel towards the too hot for human life equator. Sanders of the jungle meets pseudo-Freud of the post apocalypse.

Agamedes rating: 3 out of 10

You collect out-dated SF drivel by well-known authors? Amazon claim to sell it (at a sucker price, too).

Even Madonna's Drowned World may turn out to be better value... Your choice...