The Eighty Minute Hour / Brian Aldiss

The Eighty Minute Hour
by Brian Aldiss

science fiction

copyright 1975
read, in part, April 2014

rated 4: bad but could be read

According to an author's note, this book was written, paragraph by paragraph, while on tour with another author. It shows. The book is a series of vignettes. After fifty-plus pages, a series of unrelated vignettes.

Okay, I can see how they could relate. So far, I can see no reason why I should be interested in the way that the stands of story could be linked.

According to the back-cover blurb, this is "a genuine space-opera".

What it misses, is a genuine space opera plot. In fact -- and I admit that page 56 is still early in the 284 page book -- what it misses is any plot at all.

Space opera is whizz bang adventure, heroes fighting insuperable odds and winning, science advancing in leaps and bounds... The Eighty Minute Hour offers boring discussion, dislikeable characters doing pointless things and science already gone mad.

There is nothing to capture my interest. No character that I want to follow. Vague hints but no clear conflict that I would like to see resolved.

Not space opera. Just random vignettes from an author with a negative view of the world. An author who thinks that unpleasant is funny.

What happens next ?

I'm not interested.

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Problems ? Solved

Beyond the Hanging Wall / Sara Douglass

Beyond the Hanging Wall
by Sara Douglass

prequel to ??
fantasy

copyright 1996
read in April 2014

rated 6: read to pass the time

Read that rating as positive: read to pass the time -- and expect to enjoy the reading. It's an enjoyable book. Just... nothing special.

Likeable characters, interesting plot, not too much suspense. This looks dangerous... Will they survive... Yes, they survived. I was caught up in what was happening. I enjoyed the successes. I knew that there would be no failures.

No real suspense. Just an enjoyable book. Romantic fantasy, chick lit, fun.

I like to review with no bias, so I avoid other web commentaries. When I have finished this review -- I really need to check up on that "prequel ??"...

The cover says, " A gripping prequel to the Darkglass Mountain trilogy ". Really ? Inside, this book is grouped with the Axis trilogy. I know that I have met the characters in another book... I vaguely remember the first Darkglass book -- and I can't imagine a link. So... It's a prequel but I can't say to which other books.

No matter ! All by itself, I enjoyed the Hanging Wall.

A straightforward story, to be read to be enjoyed. And if you recognise the characters -- from whatever other series -- then that's a bonus :-)

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Problems ? Solved

The Eyre Affair / Jasper Fforde

The Eyre Affair
by Jasper Fforde
Thursday Next (1)

humour, steam punk science fiction

copyright 2001
read in April 2014

rated 9: really, really good

I read and reviewed the eighth Thursday Next book, The Woman Who Died a Lot. Enjoyed it so much that I looked for the start of the series... And enjoyed it just as much. Perhaps even more !

Book eight had a whole host of "familiar" characters, characters with whom I was not at all familiar :-)  It made no difference, they were introduced well enough for a first-time reader.

In this first book, it's fun to meet "new" characters -- and to realise that I already know a little bit about them !

Better yet, if a character is "nice" then they really are nice. They may be funny, or apparently weak, or even downright peculiar -- but they all do their dependable best. Within the limits of their limitations.

I think I compared Fforde with Wodehouse ? Absolutely !

Thursday Next is beginning her rise to fame and fortune. She fights for literary justice -- and wins. With, as the blurb tells us, time to figure out who really wrote Shakespeare's plays... Time paradox ? Forget it !

The basis of the plot is literary. Jane Eyre, in fact... in case you have not already guessed. And a sign off how much I enjoyed this book: I have a newly developed ambition to read Jane Eyre !

I read it. I enjoyed it. I need to read more Thursday Next.

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Problems ? Solved

Coffee / Dolce & Salato

Coffee / Dolce & Salato
South Fremantle

Rated 8: well worth it

We turned onto Duoro Road, heading for South Beach thinking, there's a cafe there. Passed another cafe and thought, that looks interesting...

And it was :-)

We had coffee and -- because of the time of day -- lunch. There were cakes, which looked nice, and gelato, which was tempting. First, though, lunch.

Pizza by the slice. A rectangle each of vegetarian and not vegetarian... Were they labeled ? Didn't see labels. But one was vegetarian and the other had very fine slices of salty sausage.

Each rectangle was marked into four "slices". Marked rather than cut -- we had to tear the slices apart with our hands. Greasy, too -- and the paper serviettes were so small and thin as to be almost useless.

The pizzas were delicious. On the vegetarian, some of the vegetables could even be identified by taste. On the meat pizza, the only standout flavours were the salty (and slightly spicy) sausage and something which I tentatively identified as basil. (I'm not great on " name that flavour".)

There were three or four friendly people waiting to serve, no waiting. Ethnic was the theme, though that may just be South Fremantle :-)

This cafe is one of a small chain of three. I do prefer one-off cafes but this cafe did not "feel" like a franchise. It felt friendly and unique. Modern plastic but comfortable.

The large shop next door (was it ex-Woolworths ? ) was closed, well and truly gone. That must affect Dolce. I hope it affects it by allowing more customers to park and eat !

We enjoyed our lunch. Oh, and the coffee was good, too.

And Dolce & Salato translates as, Sweet & Savoury. Clear and correct :-)

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Problems ? Solved

Coffee / Salt by the Sea

Coffee / Salt by the Sea, North Fremantle

April 2014

Rated 6: somewhere to get coffee

We were heading off for a day's geocaching -- and the GPS would not turn on... So the mood was gloomy. We decided to stop, have coffee, take stock of our options.

We stopped at Salt by the Sea, at North Fremantle.

Salt is a bar, next to a restaurant. The restaurant was closed, too early in the morning, we would have selected the less formal bar, anyway.

Our standard choice is, "coffee and cake". There was no sign of cake. Not very clear where to order, either. We asked a waitress.

Sorry, no cake, we'll bring you something, we were told. "Something" turned out to be several small danish pastries. Quite nice but nothing special.

We enjoyed our view of the beach as we ate, drank and installed a geocaching app to a smartphone.

Salt is a family-friendly bar and cafe for the in-crowd. A sign, "Order here" -- or a visible person to take orders -- would be helpful for those who are less in touch with the cafe.

No need to go out of your way. But if you are passing -- a pleasant enough place for a coffee and cake by the beach.

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Problems ? Solved

Coffee / Zig Zag Cafe, Kalamunda

Coffee / Zig Zag Cafe, Kalamunda

April 2014

Rating 9: really, really good

We were in The Hills for a run, a geocache and lunch. Easter Sunday, so all was very quiet...

Except for Jorgensen Park, where plenty of people were enjoying the beautiful weather and plenty of dogs were just enjoying. Not crowded in the park, just pleasantly peopled with plenty of space in between.

Jorgensen Park was, as ever, confusing. With the overgrown greens and the tracks wandering through the rough, the old golf course is a maze. I took the easy route and followed the Bibbulmun Track.

The Bibb has been upgraded since our last visit, with gravel-and-plank steps down the side of the first hill. I jogged down, rested, jogged more slowly up again. "Quick return from Albany?" asked the young woman whom I had passed in both directions.

Geocaching was less successful. One where locals had built a cubby, the last log was a dnf, I didn't even bother to look. Another supposed to be near a log near some rocks, too many logs, too many scratchy bushes, I gave it five minutes then gave it up. The third was well placed and still there -- success at last !

And then to lunch, in nearby Kalamunda.

We circle the shopping centre and spotted one closed cafe and one open but crowded. Then we found the Zig Zag Cafe.

Zig Zag is part of the Kalamunda Visitor Centre. Or part of their precinct, though that's a rather pretentious word for a very pleasant area. The Centre itself was open, a Museum was closed, I didn't register what the other buildings were. All we wanted was the cafe.

A small, pleasant, modern building. Open to the fine weather, with the ability to open even more. A hand written sign that the cafe would close at noon... This was, after all, Easter Sunday !

Rather than push our luck -- with the cafe due to close in twenty minutes -- we ordered a very light lunch: muffin, fruit toast, coffee.

The muffin was spinach and feta with just a hint of cayenne. Nicely warmed, a little dry, it needed the pat of butter. Delicious ! The toast was fruity, lightly toasted, butter went well but was not essential. Coffee was served in a generous-sized cup.

There were, perhaps, a dozen other customers in the cafe. Two of them we had seen before: we had driven past them as they rode a tandem bicycle up the hill... An excellent outing, we thought, to ride up the hill, eat lunch at the Zig Zag Cafe then ride home again. Excellent except for the riding, anyway.

We walked back to our car and drive on, to Zanthorrea Nursery.

All we had eaten was muffin and toast. All we had drunk was coffee. We were there in beautiful weather, on a very quiet and peaceful day. That said:

We enjoyed our lunch at the Zig Zag Cafe in Kalamunda. We ate food with standard names but better than average quality... It may even have been hand-made for the cafe.

Highly recommended !

And the waiter can't help it if he reminded us of Larry from the Three Stooges.

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Problems ? Solved

Frommer's Switzerland / Darwin Porter, Danforth Prince.

Frommer's Switzerland
by Darwin Porter & Danforth Prince

travel

copyright 2010 (14th edition)

rated 6/10: read to pass the time

It's possibly better than "read to pass the time". Maybe "well worth reading" -- if you like to read a book rather than browse the web. For me, though, this book is just one of several sources.

Several good and bad points:

The book provides a list of hotels grouped by cost. Good... there are opinions. I trust the opinion in one reliable book far more than the hundreds of internet ratings provided by gruntled and disgruntled people who may or may not know something. Bad... its a very short list.

For a moment I thought that we were booked to stay in a hotel with two gay nightclubs. Good... Frommer caters for a range of travellers. When I checked, though, our hotel is just a bit further down the street.

Good... there are overviews of various areas and cities. Excellent... there are clear pointers to the "tourist value" of the various areas of the city. I have read several websites which said, for example, "Stay in the Old Town because..." then did not clearly describe the boundaries of the Old Town. Frommer is clearer.

Good... Lists of where to eat and what to visit. But websites provide similar information with full colour pictures.

Good... The book covers all of Switzerland. Bad... It is impossible to cover all of Switzerland in one book... We will spend two days in a major city that is well covered. Then we will spend a week in an area where the only mention is, that one village has mineral springs.

When we travelled to Canada -- in the days before the internet -- we had a Frommer (or equivalent) for Canada. I tore out 90% of the pages -- pages covering areas that we were not going to visit -- and left them at home. And still we carried more than we used.

For me, a travel guide book should be borrowed not bought. Read the descriptive sections, to get a broad understanding of your destination. Use the book as just one source of possible places to stay, to eat and to visit. Make a note of places that catch your fancy... Then return the book to its owner.

Treat other sources -- books and websites -- the same way. Good for pre-reading, good for ideas. Then go on your holiday -- with a lot of ideas of what you would like to do and see -- and be prepared to change your mind as you discover what your destination actually had to offer !

And enjoy your holiday, your way :-)

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Problems ? Solved

Otherland / Tad Williams

Otherland
by Tad Williams
City of Golden Shadow (1)

science fiction

copyright 1996
not read in March 2014

rated 5/10: readable, but only if there's nothing else

Truth to tell, that rating really means, "So unbelievable and slow moving that I will never finish it."

I managed to read 100 pages. Nothing has happened. Rather, nothing of interest.

First, the technology of the book is badly dated. Mind trapped inside a virtual reality ? Why ? And how ?! When did we lose the concept of an "off" switch ?!

Yeah, fine, "speculative" fiction. It's a problem with near-future speculation: passing of time may make it look stupid.

The foreword is one of those apparently irrelevant stories where nothing much happens, then you have to read the rest of the book to find out what it was all about. Another 80 pages read with not even a hint that the foreword will ever be relevant.

Then there are the characters. Soap opera relationships. And the little black man of obvious significance... How long can we read with oh-so-subtle hints at the bleeding obvious... Including the wild and unsubstantiated rumours of a golden city at the edge of virtual reality. Oh yes, we'll miss those hints, won't we... In a book which starts a series called "city of the golden shadow" !

Following the twenty pages of mysterious -- clichéd -- foreword.

Somewhere I read s comment by the author, about his own tendency to wordiness. In my opinion he has not much to say, and works hard to stretch that not much into a whole series of overlong books.

If I could get over the technology speculation, perhaps I could read further. Yet nothing of the characters, of the plot or of the hinted plot direction makes me want to try.

This book promises another 900 pages of boredom. With more volumes to come. I shall return it to the book exchange. And buy a book with more promise of interest. Or, at least, with less pages of potential boredom.

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Problems ? Solved

Coffee at Brew Ha / Subiaco

Coffee at Brew Ha / Subiaco
April 2014

rated 6 or 7 out of 10

Rated six, as somewhere pleasant to have coffee. Rated seven if there is room to sit outside.

On previous visits we have sat outside. A very pleasant spot for watching the passing parade. Inside is fine but the view is more restricted.

This visit we had iced coffee, no cake. A very limited review ! But a point to be made:

We placed our order at the counter: two iced coffees. Then stepped back to wait.

Two cold drinks appeared, I took them. My wife said, One of those looks like chocolate. So I returned it to the counter.

Was this someone else's order for one coffee, one chocolate ? Who knows... There was no way to tell.

Okay, Brew Ha have made the decision to not deliver to the tables. Money saved. How are customers supposed to identify which order is theirs ? The owners really need to think through the consequences of not hiring staff.

The coffee was good. The lack of service added confusion which spoiled the experience.

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Problems ? Solved

Wizard Squared / K.E. Mills

Wizard Squared
by K.E. Mills
Rogue Agent (3)

fantasy

copyright 2010
read in April 2014

rated 6/10: read to pass the time

I remember reading the first Rogue Agent book. It was light and enjoyable -- until the torture scene. That scene was painful to read, especially after the cheery fantasy of the first half of the book.

Wizard Squared avoids that unanticipated switch in mood. The book has nasty violence right from the start. Which is good because there is no sudden destruction of reader expectation. And bad, because the grim start is maintained to the grim climax near the end.

Not that Squared is all grim ! Mills has developed the series in several directions.

The action is tough and gritty, all the way through. The nastiness of the violence is emphasised by repetitive thoughts by the characters, of how nasty the situation really is. Lots of, I'm about to lose my lunch. Several actual losses of lunch.

There is a also lot of discussion. Shall we do this ? What shall we do ? Should we have done that ? So much discussion, that very little had time to actually happen in the first half of the book.

There is also a lot of "chick lit" discussion. Oh how much I love him/her ! Oh it would not be right to declare my love for him/her ! Oh he/she does love you as much as you love her/him ! It's only distracting when the men are talking to each other: Come on, men don't talk like that, no matter how good the brandy !

So this book has -- compared to the first in the series -- more violence, more graphic torture. More discussion, more baring of lovelorn souls. More superpower magic.

And still, an enjoyable read.

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Problems ? Solved

Toilet Tours / Victorian Variety

Toilet Tours:

Victorian Variety

At the entry to Mt Eccles National Park the toilet theme is "timber":

The small village of Penshurst provides a starkly modern facility. Only the external rubbish bin has suffered from the unavoidable depredations of time:

Mortlake uses "stone". Perhaps the "bluestone" for which this part of Victoria is famous ? Was this building once a house ? Now it is -- mostly -- toilets:

Cressy is barely a spot on the map. The public toilets are barely more than a minimum-size rectangular building with a flat roof. Yet the stark simplicity is softened by posters and a town map. Most impressively, this strictly functional shape has been extended with bright living blooms in twin flower-boxes:

Reluctantly, the 2013 Toilet Tour of Victoria ends here. The final step will be to add a map (check the links near the top of each page). Then it will be back to book reviews, before I begin the documentation of another Toilet Tour.

If you enjoyed the tour -- feel free to post a comment :-)

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

Toilet Tours / the Toilets of Bridgewater

Toilet Tours:

the Toilets of Bridgewater

Far from the crowds of Portland, past Shelly Beach, at the edge of the settlement known as Cape Bridgewater, the toilet block is the largest building. As much change rooms as toilets, this spacious structure supports the summer swimmers who flock to the beachfront area. One day we had the toilets to ourselves; the next day the crowds were there for the opening of the summer surf lifesaving season.

The well established toilets of Cape Bridgewater are the obvious inspiration for the more recent construction placed between the beach and the marina of Portland's breakwater. The curved, two-part roof and the faded yellow walls pay homage to the original. Only the full height walls -- leaving no gap between wall and ceiling -- show the influence of today's less carefree society.

On the other side of Portland, the toilets of the Botanical Gardens hide shyly behind the botanical growths for which the gardens are justly named. We are offered a glimpse of the Gents icon. To reassure potential customers -- those who are wary of a hidden building which only show a tall tower to the world, a tower which may, possibly, support cctv cameras -- a second icon is attached, close by the first. Doubly reassured, we may relax and approach closer.

In the carpark by the marina there is no confusion. The toilets are clear, unhidden. They are almost confrontational in their in-your-face, full frontal exposure to the world. Park your car and you cannot fail to note this upright structure in the otherwise flat carpark.

Away from the rectangular obsessions of the beaches the carpark and (perhaps) the gardens, the main street of Portland presents a smoother and more colourful appearance.

The main street toilets may be a flat painted brick wall to pedestrians but they present colour and curve to the passing motorist. Have motorists demonstrated an inability to avoid sharp corners ? Perhaps the toilet architects wanted to fit more smoothly into the parking needs of the caught short driver.

Women and girls are invited to enter past a whale, a starfish and a small school of fish. The watery theme of the outside is in stark contrast to the drier inside, where water is only available where required. This wet / dry contrast is continued round to the entry for men and boys, although the lightly clad mermaid may provide a minor distraction.

The number 2 on each whale is, perhaps indicative of the multi-purpose facilities contained within this one pre-modernist building.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

Toilet Tours / South Coast Victoria

Toilet Tours:

South Coast Victoria

There is a certain solidity to the toilets along this stretch of south coastal Victoria. Toilet blocks are built to last. Except, perhaps, for the more recent constructions.

The town of Port Campbell offers a solid building with additional steel bar security. Are the locals in the habit of stealing the external plumbing ? Or does the steel fence protect against accidental car crashes into the pipework ? Indeed, the external pipework is the only vulnerable aspect of the solidly built structure.

Even the customers are solidly built and not liable to sudden movements. For ten minutes I waited outside, waiting for the sole occupant of the Gents to vacate the sole cubicle. Waited... and waited... Finally I set my wife to guard the entrance and used the Ladies. As we drove away, the solid citizen was still firmly ensconced in the toilet. A slow reader, perhaps.

A side trip to Boggy Creek revealed another solid structure by the Boggy Creek creek. Built in the traditional rectangular shape, yet with bricks of stone. The well-placed rubbish bin adds another useful feature to the picnic area which has been provided to accompany these toilets.

And then there is Nullawarre...

Nullawarre offers a pleasant break on the drive along the Great Ocean Road. Friendly service and instant coffee in the pleasantly aged village Restaurant. With the more recent addition of a combined toilet block and barbeque shelter adding an extra convenience to visitors who would otherwise barely notice the town. Only a spot on the map, yet well worth a brief pause on life's journey.

Another minor detour and another very solid stone building. In the Tower Hill park, the toilets share space with tourist information. The hill behind provides an equally solid backdrop (as well as a geocache). The thundering and rumbling sounds are, perhaps, nothing more than an echo of the volcanic crater in which this building is built.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

Toilet Tours / Cloning Around

Toilet Tours:

Cloning Around

Collusion ? Conspiracy ? Or simply Cloning ? You be the judge !

In a separate post I described the unique features of two timber toilets: unique features yet suspiciously shared. Was this collusion of design ? Copyright theft ? Or is there a more sinister explanation: illegal and undeclared Cloning. Irrefutable evidence is presented below.

At Blanket Bay Beach we had no suspicion of the evidence which we were about to uncover. Yes, there were "very similar" timber toilets at the campsites of Blanket Bay and Ryan's Den. Yet the block at the beach of Blanket Bay presented no evidence of further toilet block clones:

Now note the toilet block at Cape Otway:

Compare the photos above with that of the toilet block at Aire River:

Secretive authorities may deny the similarities. In a sensible precaution against the power of these bureaucratic and powerful "government" agencies, I did not dare ask the question. Yet consider:

• A series of semi-detached cubicles, each with its own swinging and locking door.
• The raised roof, offering protective deflection of airborne observation.
• The storage tanks at the end -- directly adjoining identical steel handbasins !
• The colours, deliberately changed in a pathetic attempt at colour inclusivity !

Now look at the toilet block below. Is this a second photo of the Aire River toilets taken from a different position ? Or is this a government denied clone ! You be the judge ! The evidence is there, in clear black and white ! Or, well, colour:

And now I can present absolutely incontrovertible evidence of a secret plot to clone toilets. Evidence which the government has never released ! Evidence which it would cover up, if it dared, or if it cared ! Compare each of the three photographs below. Three photographs which the unnamed "government agency" will do all in its power to remove from public view. Three photographs which, taken together, provide absolute proof of the cloning cover-up conspiracy and of the cloning conspiracy cover-up:

Photo 1: Johanna Beach, toilets by the carpark.

[####]

Photo 2: Johanna Beach, scientists actually in the process of producing a clone ! (Apologies for the photo quality, we were in fear for our lives. If it were known that we were able to photograph the actual cloning procedure, "the agency" would exert all of its efforts to destruction of the photographic evidence.)

Photo 3: The cloned toilet block. Just 500 metres from the clone-donor. Why so close ? And why place the clone near a separate carpark ?! What is the "government" trying to hide at Johanna Beach ??

Any government agency would refuse to answer our questions; there would be a blanket denial of knowledge, if we dared to ask. Yet the evidence is plain to see.

Toilet blocks are being cloned across the southern coast of Victoria. No beach is safe. Our only safety is in absolute ignorance and unquestioning acceptance of the status quo. We must not act now, before it is too late.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

Toilet Tours / Responsible Recycling

Toilet Tours:

Responsible Recycling

In a style reminiscent of the Ettamogah Pub, this wooden building offers a much-needed convenience at the Johanna campsite. Much needed, especially if I had cooked and eaten my own camp food. (Not that I made that mistake ! The focus of our travels is on public toilets but the source of our meals is the best restaurants available. Or home cooking which is, of course, even better.)

The Johanna campsite toilet -- see the picture below -- has many unique and environmentally responsible features:

• Note, for example, the roof: Open spaces allow for natural air conditioning. Naturally occurring rainwater will, in the rainy season, wash even the "sheltered" wall. From our experience, this would result in walls being washed several times each week.
• The verandah offers both shelter and a view. The actual shelter value is reduced by the holes in the roof. The view, however, benefits from the way in which the entire building is raised above the ground. With the door open, this magnificent view is also available to people inside.
• The access ramp is well suited to wheelchair users. Whether or not a wheelchair user could navigate to the campsite -- along unsealed dirt tracks -- is a moot point. If they arrived, they would be able to access this toilet.
• For those in a hurry, on crowded days, there are also trees, placed conveniently nearby.

Further along the coastal Great Ocean Walk is Ryan's Den. This campsite also offers a raised wooden toilet with verandah and access ramp. The design is so similar to that at Johanna campsite that one suspects a copyright violation, or at least a design collusion.

The photograph below shows another startling design feature of these remarkable toilets:

As noted earlier, the publicly accessible portion of these buildings is raised, in order to allow customers full access to the coastal views. The space underneath is not wasted: it is devoted to storage and recycling of the waste products. This is, indeed, a clever use of otherwise waste space (if you will excuse the pun). After storage, settling and self-composting, waste material is available for Responsible Recycling.

Nor is the recycling dependent on the passing of sufficient time ! Note the water tank on the downhill slope. Liquid waste may be piped directly into this external tank, where it is available for further recycling by responsible campers and hikers.

These structures offer excellent examples of architectural design incorporating sustainable and responsible recycling: waste to water and fertiliser to gardens.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

Toilet Tours / Gimme Shelter

Toilet Tours:

Gimme Shelter

This particular toilet has significance. Personal significance. Let me explain... We were on Day One of a walk, a walk along the Great Ocean Walk. Here are extracts from my journal for that day:

It rained. And it was cold. We were picked up at about 8:15. By which time we had put on our raincoats. From then till two o'clock there were regular patches of drizzle. Not too bad -- but it turned the track into a muddy minor creek.

Our first river crossing -- "usually nothing much at all" -- was reported to be quite deep. So we were dropped at Shelly Beach. Or, at least, at a junction which lead to Shelly Beach. So we missed the Elliott River crossing. Which, we heard later, had water almost up to the knees. Unless we misunderstood the Japanese hiker who told us of the crossing.

The different drop-off point meant that we had a shorter than expected walk. The driver said, give him a call when we finished and he would try to pick us up early. The walk was -- except for the mud and drizzle -- not too hard. Mostly through forest, we had by-passed the beach walk. Finally, we reached the coast: Blanket Beach, our end point for today. Guess what ? A creek flowing out to sea that we had to cross.

We took off shoes and socks -- I put on my thongs (that's flip-flops to non-Australians) -- rolled up pants legs -- except for me, I was wearing short pants -- and waded across. Water up to our ankles. Mind you, our socks were already very wet. I wonder if we should have simply strolled across, boots and all ? Up a few steps to a shelter...

A family of ten or so people having a picnic there. They were camping but preferred a roof over their heads to crouching round a camp fire in the rain. We chatted a while as we put shoes and socks back on. Then we headed off the extra hundred metres or so to our pickup point.

Perhaps we should have stayed in the shelter...

Pickup was to be at a picnic area. With trees but no shelter. And a chilly wind... It seems there were lots of people not starting where planned, or not appearing for pickup where expected. Our own pickup was scheduled for 3:30. It was on time. We had to wait almost two hours... The rain had (mostly) stopped but the wind was chilly. The only shelter with a roof was the toilet. So we spent a lot of time huddled in the building with the long drop dunny...

We assumed that the few passers-by had many a strange explanation for our toilet tenure :-) For our part, we wondered over the need to put a padlock on the toilet roll holder:

And speaking of near hysteria...

Two of us were shaking with cold shivers. We tended to hysterical humour. We were all cold ! It was so good when the minibus finally arrived ! We sat in it, out of the wind, and felt immediately better. The driver still had to search for two more hikers -- quickly found -- and we were off to our night's accommodation.

Ahh ! memories :-) Walking in the rain and sheltering for an hour in a toilet. What a very excellent holiday.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

Toilet Tours / the road to Apollo Bay / 2013

Toilet Tours:

the road to Apollo Bay

Many years ago a man with an axe was walking from Melbourne to Geelong. Unfortunately he took a wrong turning. Melbourne is at the north of Port Philip Bay. Geelong is south, on the western side of the bay. The axeman -- known to his friends as Neville and to the police as A Person of Interest -- followed the bay to the east. This led him along what is now known as Mornington Peninsula.

At a time which was closer to lunch than to morning smoko, Neville passed the isolated shanty-town of Frankston. Neville had been hoping to enjoy a pleasant lunch at Frankston. Unfortunately Frank was, at the time Helping Police with their Enquiries. Knowing that Frank would not object (probably not for 5 to 10, or 6 with Good Behaviour), Neville helped himself to a large steak from Frank's meat safe.

Being an essentially honest man Neville left a note for Frank. He considered a Five Pound note but settled for a carefully scrawled "MOO", with Neville's "X" scratched underneath.

Hoping to reach Mornington by Evening, Neville hurried on.

Yet it was already late dusk as Neville passed by Mount Eliza. It was memories of Eliza's large and violent husband which encouraged Neville to hurry on by. He was in such a hurry that he did not notice the kangaroo in the centre of the track.

The kangaroo was blinded by the glare of Neville's hurricane lantern. In his haste, Neville crashed, at speed, into the stationary roo. The roo was sent flying but -- like an Australian icon taking a secondary role in an Irish joke -- the flying roo landed hard. Stone dead.

Neville mourned the dead kangaroo as he ate kangaroo tail soup for his supper. It was now too late to continue, so Neville set up camp beside the track. The rough workmanship of Neville's axework can still be seen, in the rough bush toilet which he created for his overnight convenience:

The nearby Neville Memorial Convenience is a more recent addition to the area. Both old and new utilise the traditional "long drop" disposal technology. The older facility reflects Neville's sorrow at the passing of a tasty icon, with the single word "ROO" etched on a side wall. The newer facility includes a very modern "handbasin" attached to the front wall:

The next morning, Neville broke camp and the silence of this isolated parkland, as he shot a number of ducks on the nearby pond. These last few of a previously only endangered species were to provide the few pence required to cross, by ferry, to Geelong. "DUC" wrote Neville on a scrap of paperbark. "4 SALE" he copied, from a nearby residential block.

This historic journey by an Imaginary Australian legend is commemorated by the naming of MooRooDuc Highway. Neville would have been proud, if he had not been hanged soon after, for a foolish attempt to remove Arthur's Seat from Arthur's Legs.

Arthur himself has been commemorated in cement-rendered blocks:

Despite the attempted removal of Arthur's Seat, the commemorative convenience includes more Seats than one man -- or woman -- would require at any one time.

It may be noted in passing that Arthur's actual Seat is the second or third to be placed at this location. After The Neville Incident, the original Seat was replaced. There are stories -- or perhaps only rumours -- that this Second Seat was also damaged. However it came to Pass, the Seat which is currently in place is certainly not the Arthur's Seat of the long gone original.

Of less Historical yet more Architectural Interest is the Minimalist architecture of the "Toilet with Outdoor Fireplace" at nearby Sorrento:

Located at the end of the cleverly named "Melbourne Road" --  a two kilometre stretch of bitumen which connects Sorrento to Rye, just a few hours drive from Melbourne -- the Outdoor Fireplace is a Marvel of minimalist design. With both grate and chimney built to maximise effective draw, this design offers all the benefits of a roaring campfire. With none of the drawbacks of smoke within the house.

Certain historians offer the less-likely explanation, that the builders left on the Ferry to Geelong before completing the fireplace.

And finally, to complete this fascinating tour of the Toilets on the Road to Apollo Bay, we stopped in Colac.

This Fascinating Structure (below) is both Simple in its Structural Integrity and Complex in the contradictory Implications of its External Signage. Two entry ways. Signs indicative of Convenience for both Ladies and Gents. And yet... only "1P" is allowed.

The sun was slowly setting on our journey. We had no idea which way to turn. "Turn Left at Colac," said our phone contact from Apollo Bay.

And so we did. And reached our destination only four hours later than expected. Yet fully satisfied that we had seen all of the Fascinating Highlights that this well known Tourist Trail has to offer.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

The Woman Who Died a Lot / Jasper Fforde

The Woman Who Died a Lot
by Jasper Fforde
Thursday Next (8)

humor, science fiction

copyright 2012
read in April 2014

rated 9/10: really, really good

So many good points ! Where to start ?!

As I read The Woman I thought, This is the way that I would like to write ! As I read more I thought, There is no way I could write this well !

Humour with a science fiction basis. Some social satire... but more a social commentary. By which I mean, this book is not a biting satire of today's society. It is -- occasionally -- a gentle poke at the silliness of our world.

There is even a touch of non-intrusive author's opinion. What else is the role of the Enid Blyton activist, if not to present an author's opinion ? Yes, she allows the heroine to use her car. She also allows the heroine to step briefly outside the plot, to deliver an opinion which is otherwise irrelevant to the story.

The essential science is just as I like it: logically coherent, fast-tracked from future possibility and ludicrously unlikely. Just read the explanation as to why time travel has never worked... :-)

The author won a P.G. Wodehouse award for humour. Well deserved ! Like Wodehouse, Fforde writes an entertaining story. With delightful and likeable characters... Even the less likeable characters are, well, quite likeable :-)

There are several plot lines, independent yet linked. Each wrapped up in a perfectly satisfactory and suitably logical fashion. Logical within the essential characteristics of the Thursday Next world, that is.

Okay there are a couple of characters who provide deus ex machina support. Yet not with a sudden bolt of lightning... More of a touch of gentle support as the heroine reaches the end of her own resources.

As to the book series: this is the first that I have read and it's number eight. There are characters who have clearly developed over the several decades span of the books. They are not there simply because an appearance is required by their contracts. They each have a role to play.

The heroine has also aged, with the passing of time from book to book. Both age and previous injuries have slowed her body, if not her mind. Of course the walking stick and limp are essential to one of the plots...

Enough ! A very enjoyable book and I would like to spend all day discussing its various merits ! But I would rather finish this review -- and finish reading the book for a second time. A second reading and I am discovering even more to enjoy :-)

A great pleasure to discover such an enjoyable book. I look forward to reading the first in the series. Very soon.

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Problems ? Solved

Angels of Destruction / Keith Donohue

Angels of Destruction
by Keith Donohue

fantasy

copyright 2009
(partly) read in March 2014

rated 5/10: readable, but only if there's nothing else

A slow, sweet book set in an idealised Norman Rockwell small town. Slow... and tedious.

Is it a plot spoiler to say that the mysterious little girl -- the girl with adult intelligence and magical powers -- is an angel ? An angel who will bring light and joy to the unhappy old woman ? Not so much of a spoiler, as a statement of the bleeding obvious.

I read less than a quarter of this book and have no urge to finish it. The language is poetic in its imagery. The style is languid... and sweet. The logic of the plot is past fantasy and into the fantastic. Fantastic in the sense of unbelievable. Definitely not in the sense of fantastic good fun.

Do you read your spiritual book of choice and then re-read it -- many times -- because you enjoy the message, the message of hope and peace ? Then Angels may be a book that you will enjoy.

Mind you... I skipped to the end... And was surprised to find that the book does not end with a group hug and everyone happy every after. Not quite. Happiness, it seems, is only for the select few. I was surprised.

Thinking back I wonder, is the book boring ? No, not really... things are happening. So what's the problem ?

Things are happening -- but so what ?!

The main characters are drifting through a series of minor actions. Some actions are inexplicable, some are simply unexplained. It all adds up to... nothing which grips the imagination.

So sweet that I cannot bear to say that it is bad. Just a book which I cannot be bothered finishing.

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Problems ? Solved

Toilet Tours / Healesville Victoria / 2013

Toilet Tours:

Healesville 2013

Maroondah Reservoir: a large and civilised picnic area with two public toilets.

The first toilet is near the entry to the park. Near the foot of the dam wall. That's right, there's a large dam nearby... Just a distraction from the main attraction of two -- yes, two ! -- brick and tile toilet blocks.

The first toilet is hidden. Behind dense hedges of shrubs. Almost as though the park managers wish to hide the main feature of the parkland area. Ah well...

The toilet itself is aging but clean.

Further away from the dam is more picnic area. Large areas of grass, plenty of shady trees. A simple area, offering a better-presented convenience for public use.

Pleasantly placed amongst the trees, this second toilet block may be appreciated from many angles. The lawns offer a sweeping view, the trees offer a softly contrasting frame to the traditional rectangular building.

Due to the time-pressure of fellow travellers (and the absence of a nearby tea shop) these toilets were not internally evaluated.

In the nearby town of Healesville there is a railway station. Is it abandoned ? Possibly... The railway station is simply a building; unnoticed. Of far more interest -- especially in the architectural sense -- are the associated public toilets.

Two cheap transportable buildings, crowded into an inconvenient space. Not very attractive -- from the outside, at least. The interior facilities are untested. The outside shows signs of care and cleaning.

The ladies toilet block is a steel transportable. With an entry ramp, rather narrow but accessible.

And in a separate -- also transportable -- building, of different material (let's call it "steel") and in a mismatched colour scheme: the gents.

Two similar yet different structures. Is one an afterthought ? Or is this the result of supply and demand: the public demands public toilets, the local council supplies whatever it can find.

A discordant pair, apparently mismatched yet unified in the common permanency of temporary convenience. Neither attractive nor unattractive. So easily overlooked -- yet so strangely thought-provoking.

..o0o..

These reviews are provided by Agamedes Consulting. For an independent and thoughtful review of your processes, problems or documents, email nickleth at gmail dot com.

Mordant's Need / Stephen Donaldson

Mordant's Need
by Stephen Donaldson
(1) The Mirror of her Dreams
(2) A Man Rides Through

fantasy

copyright 1986, 1987

rated 8/10: really quite good

19nov23: re-read book(2). Same opinion as before. Much more enjoyable than (1). If only because the heroine starts to think and act.

13nov23: I've just re-read (1)"Mirror". You know what? the heroine is a real pain. Ignorant, confused, a real drip. How can she possibly be so thick? so slow? I skimmed quickly over some of her worst stupidities and denial of facts. She definitely has the biggest breasts in the book but she seems to have the smallest, or least effective, brain.

Yes, it's still a good book. But as I'm reading I'm thinking, this book is setting the scene. What I want to read is book (2) -- where the main characters finally get to do something.

Oh, and the occasional chuckle as I read: Yes, there are some very funny lines. But I am absolutely convinced that the author aimed for irony -- and has absolutely no actual sense of humour.

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original review: I thoroughly enjoyed these books... with a few worries.

First, the heroine spends the first book doing nothing. Not quite as bad as the early Thomas Covenant who refused to do anything because he was, as named, The Unbeliever. Terisa Morgan at least does want to do something. She is simply too un-self-assured to act.

It does get a bit annoying.

Then there's the violence, mostly in the second book. Okay, the violence fits with the story and with the difficult times. Just don't read this book and expect a Disney-style fairytale !

I also have trouble understanding the special powers of the hero and heroine.

So these two books are a fairytale with swords and sorcery. Overdrawn characters, both good and bad. With several who are both. Plus the standard requirement that the hero and heroine must discover their super-powers on time to save the world... And live happily ever after.

The first book drags, as the heroine suffers her total lack of self-confidence. Yet there is enough excitement -- and discovery, and anticipation -- to keep me reading.

The second volume has more real action. More happening. More than enough to keep me reading to the end... To the very satisfying end.

Good characters, a rich -- if overdrawn -- world. Suspense, excitement and general good fun. A very enjoyable book !

On the other hand, my son read both books. He read to the end because his father said that it's a very good book. According to my son, Mordant's Need is long, boring and not worth reading.

But what would he know.

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19jan22: I re-read these books. This time... I almost agree with my son.

The heroine is a real pain :-( And the books move with slow and sometimes tedious detail and explanation.

I skipped quite a bit. Enjoyed the adventure, especially the use of magic But I was not caught up in it.

You know the way that a deadly serious author can sometimes drop in a ridiculous statement. Perhaps a line which pokes fun at the action. Perhaps a comment on the stupidity -- or venality -- of society. Maybe just an unexpected action by the hero, to show us that they are not always absolutely perfect.

Donaldson does this. Not often. But there are sentences where I was surprised into a chuckle.

On the other hand... I have my doubts of the author's intent. I doubt that Donaldson has any real sense of humour. Absolutely no sense of the ridiculous. He takes his writing... and his characters... far too seriously.

I may chuckle. I suspect that Donaldson would wonder why I chuckled.

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Problems ? Solved

Sundiver / David Brin

Sundiver
by David Brin
Uplift (1)

science fiction

copyright 1980
re-read in March 2014

rated 7/10: well worth reading

Well, truth to tell, perhaps my rating would be 6/10 (read to pass the time) if I had not already read the later Uplift books.

Sundiver is an enjoyable story, set in the early days of Uplift. It is a relatively narrow view of the impact of galactic civilisation on earth races -- and the various ways in which earth races respond. The correct response is more in doubt than in later books.

So this book benefits from knowledge of its place in the Uplift sequence.

As a book... there is too much science. Too much discussion, of science and of social and personal issues. Too much that distracts from the main plot. In my opinion :-)

In a similar vein... The main character brings personal issues to the book. Did he star -- and suffer -- in a previous book ? It certainly seems like it. Without having read the previous book his problems -- and his family background -- are just distractions.

Signs of an early book ? Signs of an author developing his skills ? Maybe.

It's still a good book. Just not as good as the later Uplift novels.

On an unrelated matter:

My copy of the book is from the days when the cover of the book reflected the content of the book !

I can look at the cover picture and recognise each character. Almost as though the artist had read the book ! Amazing :-)

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Problems ? Solved