The Road to Mars
by Eric Idle
science fiction ? humour ?
copyright 1999
read in July 2013
rated 3/10: so bad it's embarrassing
Eric Idle... Monty Python writer... co-creator of one of the classic TV shows... as he reminds us in this book. Which shows just how desperate he was to keep his readers reading.
"Part biting satire, part loony vaudeville, part comic dissertation..." That's the view of Robin Williams, as quoted on the cover.
Absolute rubbish.
The "comic dissertation" is Idle's attempt to analyse humour. He may make some valid points. Unfortunately his examples are stuck firmly in the late twentieth century -- which is sadly out of place in a "science fiction" novel.
The "dissertation" is done by a key character -- an android -- who has trouble understanding humour. Perhaps this was not such a cliche back in 1999... Irony, in particular, is beyond the grasp of the mechanical intellect.
Ironically, irony is also beyond the grasp of the author. Idle attempts irony. He also attempts satire. What he writes is cruel sarcasm... Made worse by his regular explanation of the point of his attempts.
Had the author ever read any hints as to how to write a novel ? Had he every heard, for example, of "point of view" ? Not only does he switch from one point of view to another -- he does it paragraph by paragraph.. and back again. I gave up trying to work out who was thinking what. It just was not worth the effort.
Then, half way through, as I was getting tired of the analysis and sarcasm and attempted humor -- the book changes.
It becomes a rather boring thriller, starting with a highly telegraphed and brutal death, followed by countless deaths and major destruction.
For a book set in space... in the future... it is also remarkably bad in its science.
An android is stuck out in space. Freezing to absolute zero. (Absolute zero in space ? Really ? ) And then -- the android "oxidises". Okay, oxidise sounds cleverer than "rusts". But in space ?! You know, the *vacuum* of space ?! Didn't the author spot the clue, that "oxidises" comes from the word oxygen -- which is essential for oxidisation...
Then there's the space station which develops a leak. And implodes. Good grief.
Finally, all is revealed. The villains pop out of nowhere. Their links to other characters and plot are barely explained. New ideas are thrown in just to fill some of the more obvious gaps in the story.
The lead villain turns out to be a fool with an unworkable plan which everyone else is too stupid to foil. But the plan accidentally fails and it's only random luck which saves the threatened settlers... What's that ? Never heard of them before ? Correct.
A weak book, badly written.
Don't bother.
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