The First Bird / Greig Beck

The First Bird

by Greig Beck

thriller

copyright 2013

read in January 2017

rated 6/10: read to pass the time

Copyright 2013? Really? It seems older than that. No matter.

This book is wall to wall cliche.

The hero's big-breasted girlfriend starts in a bikini. She wears shorts into the jungle. She rips her shirt off... several times.

The hero is cool. Clever. Long tousled hair. No, it's not designer stubble, he's just too unselfconscious to remember to shave. Though this forty year old academic does get into a teenage-boy snit when another man muscles in on his girl. Who, incidentally, is also his student. A big no-no in any academic circle.

The monster is about to eat the beautiful women -- until it is attacked by another monster. Oooo... that was close.

The plot is driven by stupidity.

We're almost to safety! But I need a pee! Quick, get out of our armoured vehicle and drop our pants behind the only bit of cover for miles! Is it a spoiler to tell you that the vicious villains are hiding in that very same bit of cover? Have the heroes never heard of peeing just on the other side of the vehicle?

We're almost home! Just keep driving, in this armoured vehicle... But wait! there's a cute little girl ! We must stop -- risk the safety of the entire world -- to pick up that cute little girl ! Surely she's far too cute to infect us with that nasty disease... (Oops.)

On the bright side, the cliches are varied.

There's the jungle cliche set. There's the lost world cliche set. There's the drive through the US with civilisation failing cliche set. It almost makes sense that this book was originally published as three separate volumes.

Yes, this book is solid cliche. Yes, the characters are almost brainless in their wild leaps into obvious danger. Yes, the final, post-climactic ending is ridiculous. Mostly pointless, scientifically unsupported, absolutely unbelievable.

But it's fun. Slightly better than barely readable. The characters may be embarrassing, the book is not. Not really :-)

Once I accepted that it is a pure-cliche-thriller, I settled down to read. And it was a pleasant enough way to pass the time.

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Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
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"Before your dreams can come true, you have to have those dreams" … Dr Joyce Brothers