Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Flesh & Blood / Graham Masterton

Flesh & Blood
a book by Graham Masterton
category: Horror
published 1995
read in October 2012
rating: 4 out of 10

A horror story written by the numbers.

1. Start with a brutal killing.
2. Add several more deaths, pointless and with plenty of blood and pain.
3. Switch to beautiful people in a pornographically detailed sex scene.
4. Use unbelievable coincidences to link magic, murder, science and human sacrifice.
5. Wrap it all up with a non sequitur, extremely violent ending.
6. Save the last paragraph for, "To be continued..."

What a load of rubbish.

Let's start with number three, the sex scene. Hog Girl, we are told, likes to be dominated because her friend the boar always dominates the sow. So how often have you heard of a boar using several silk scarves to tie up his sow-of-the-moment?! Good grief.

Oh, and the point of the sex scene? Could have been made more clearly, in far fewer words. Without the sex. (Sorry.)

Move on to number five where, we are told, it has been predicted that evil mutant villain will be destroyed by his own, more mutant, offspring. So what happens? Mutant child does nothing more than beg mutant grandad to kill him. Until policeman hero uses police issue shotgun to blast mutant grandad to pieces.

Following which, kindly hero -- and all his police buddies -- stand in a circle and blast mutant child. (Who is now a giant pig. Don't ask.) No worry that missing the pig will shoot a policeman on the other side of the circle. No thought of using the anaesthetic dart then giving the child/pig a painless death. Good grief.

Back to point four of the horror writers' primer, where mediaeval magic is "explained" as being scientifically possible. Just two words: Good grief.

It's violent, there's an irrelevant sex scene, it's easy to read. Feel free to read it. I don't recommend it.

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